Proud Mamas unite in and out of the water

Christine McCall

Nineteen-year-old Shantee Bender of Mattapan knows firsthand how hard it is to be a teenage mother. But thanks to programs like Rowing Strong, Rowing Together (RSRT) and the Proud Mamas crew team, young mothers such as Bender can spend time raising their children, have a life outside the home and still pursue their goals.

Bender, a rower on the Proud Mamas team, became pregnant at the age of 17. At that time, she said, she wasn’t sure where her life was headed or what exactly she wanted to do. She was scared, both by the idea of being pregnant and by what would happen after the baby was born. During the rough times while pregnant and trying to finish high school, she had to keep reminding herself to just take one step at a time.

Things have changed for the better in the last two years, thanks in part to her role on the team. In her second year as a Proud Mama, Bender has been successful in and out of the water. She works full-time and is now taking general studies classes at Cambridge College. Bender says that she has a good time working in a team atmosphere with people who understand her and are in the same situation.

This year the Proud Mamas team is made up of nine women ranging in ages from 16 to 21, and come from Hyde Park, Dorchester, Roslindale, Somerville, Roxbury, Dorchester and Boston. The women are now preparing for the annual Young Parents Regatta, a 2,000-meter race on August 19 at Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley at which four RSRT teams will compete.

Sponsored by the Children’s Hospital Primary Care Center and the Young Parent’s Program (YPP), the purpose of Proud Mamas is to reach out to teenage mothers and introduce them to all aspects of rowing, including techniques, commands and teamwork.

One of the program’s main goals is to give young mothers an opportunity to get out of the house and engage in physical activity, while at the same time increasing their self-esteem and connecting them with other young mothers who are in similar situations and facing similar daily obstacles.

“A lot of moms say they don’t have girlfriends,” said program coordinator Jennifer Valenzuela. “We want them to know that it’s a safe place for you to get to know someone.”

Valenzuela said that recent studies have reported high rates of depression and isolation among teenage mothers, which the organization hopes to decrease by offering mothers an alternative form of therapy.

Bender sees rowing as an outlet to enjoy some alone time without her baby and engage in conversation with other women like herself.

“It’s fun because you get out of the house and it’s a different sport; it’s a team sport,” Bender said. “It is something you want to do. It’s not a task like most things are in my life. It’s something I want to do on my own.”

For India Terry, 21, of Boston, the program is “just like a break for me to get out of the house and have something to do.” She added that it is good exercise and that rowing out on the water is a good stress reliever for her.

Like Bender, Terry became pregnant when she was 17 years old and had no concrete plans for her future. And like Bender, as a result of her involvement in Proud Mamas for the last two years, she has a rekindled spirit and new goals in mind.

“The other girls motivate me to want to come to practice and [teach me] how to work as a team,” Terry said.

Even though Terry is quite busy taking her 3-year-old daughter Asia to the park, zoo and swimming pool these days, she has plans to continue her education in the near future. She aspires to one day work in the criminal justice field.

Bender is still not sure exactly what her immediate future holds. She wants to finish school, but beyond that, she’s still focusing on just taking one step at a time and taking care of her two-year-old son Kyle.

As for the program’s impact on the young women, Valenzuela said, “Absolutely I think the girls get something out of it. It becomes a part of their identity, it changes their confidence and they gain friends.”

With a support system like that of the Proud Mamas, Bender, Terry and the other women are bound to make their goals become realities.

Bender wants other teenage mothers to know that “things are hard, but there are always options.”

“Sometimes,” she said, “you have to swallow your pride and ask for help.”