‘Playing the field’ helps to decode the dating game

Vidya Rao

Valentine’s Day.

To some, the mere mention of the day triggers romantic images of couples running together in slow motion through fields of wheat, as orchestral swells and whispers of sweet nothings provide the soundtrack.

Then the CD skips and you wake up to remember that last night you actually spent the holiday alone, on the couch, next to a desecrated box of assorted Russell Stover Candies that you bought for yourself.

If that scenario hits a little too close to home, it’s time to set aside those feelings of bitterness, hate and vows never to replay last night’s solitude of shame.

Amanda Brown has the perfect way to get your game plan together.

Brown, who lives and works out of Atlanta, created “Playing the Field,” a game to help dates go smoothly by avoiding all of those, uh, unnecessary and awkward pauses and possibly get you in a relationship in time for next Valentine’s Day.

“I remember being out on a lunch date with a man that was so boring and just kept droning on about himself,” she said. “Three hours later I was looking at the butter knife and thinking about slitting my wrists.”

After getting divorced a couple of years ago, Brown had a lot of those kinds of experiences while dating. She became one of the 15 million people trying to find love on Match.com, but found that she was not meeting the quality of men she desired.

Then a friend suggested she try speed dating.

“While speed dating, people really had nothing to say, even for three minutes,” she explains. “I realized that I was the only one that came prepared with questions to discuss — and that the guys I was talking to were really impressed.”

Brown and her friends then brainstormed a list of about 250 questions designed to jumpstart conversation and elicit important information during a date. She then took the questions and pasted them to playing cards for easy transport and use. Soon, friends and friends of friends were clamoring to borrow the cards to use on their own dates.

“I had couples test the cards out, as well as people that were just starting to date,” Brown said. “I received a great response from people and encouragement to really get this off the ground.”

And just like that, “Playing the Field” was born.

The game consists of four decks of cards — labeled first base, second base, third base and home run — as well as a body language cue card, poker cheat sheet and instructions. Each deck of cards asks questions that are more personal than the last, helping you to get to know your date better.

According to Brown, part of the problem with dating is that it takes a long time to get to know even basic facts about a person.

Alika Wong, 25, agrees.

“It would be great to find out who people really are from the beginning, whether it’s their habits or aspects of their personality,” he said. “But you end up dating someone for six months before you learn the truth and you realize they aren’t who you thought they were.”

That’s an opinion shared by the fairer sex, as well.

“Men are more into the attraction factor than what I’m actually about, they’re not ready to deal with that,” said 26-year-old Krystyna Johnson. “Physical attraction can only get you so far, you think you like someone but it just boils down to a physical thing — and sometimes you can’t really tell right away.”

Brown hopes that the cards — which range in depth and intent from “Do you like animals?” to “Define sexy” to “What is your five-year plan?” — will help daters ask those tough questions without seeming overbearing.

“I’m very outgoing,” said Brown. “But when I go on a date, I clam up so quickly. Asking these questions made me seem like I was trying to be the CIA, but when it’s in the form of a game, it can go both ways and take the pressure off.”

Encouraged by the early success of “Playing the Field,” Brown is in the process of expanding what she’s learned into a dating empire.

She and four of her friends have formed “The Power Sisters,” the company that creates the cards and provides advice, dating Q-&-A’s and other tips on their website, www.thepowersisters.com.

The fab five consider their dating lab to be “Dear Abby meets ‘Sex in the City.’” Within the next year, the company plans to release five new games and will be translating “Playing the Field” into other languages. The Power Sisters are also working on a dating how-to book, tentatively titled “The Field Guide to Playing the Field.”

As for Brown, the 38-year-old former interior designer seems to have gotten past the dating obstacles she was previously facing.

“I’m dating someone now — one of the coolest guys I know,” she gushes.

For everyone else, “Playing the Field” just might be the way to get over the dating slump and prevent a solo flight next Valentine’s Day.